But I still want to give it a shot
As a pansexual, I am perfectly open to the idea of dating, really, anyone of any gender orientation. I’ve been attracted to women in the past, but I’ve always found that the thought of having to be in a romantic relationship with a woman to be something I wasn’t interested in seriously. Also in regards to dating a transgender or gender fluid individual, I would be much more open to it if I were aware if it before going into the relationship.
Something which is a lot to hope for, in all seriousness
It’s the transition thats frightening for me. It’s a hugely drastic change, and even though I love him, I don’t know if I will always be IN love with him when he transitions to her. I don’t know if I can emotionally handle everything that goes along with it, being that I’m already struggling with severe depression and anxiety disorders. I don’t want to bring him down with my own issues.
I feel horribly guilty, because part if me hopes that he’s just going through a phase. But, I can’t afford to be so selfish as to continue with the relationship, betting on my own denial. I want to support him through everything, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do that by staying in the relationship as it is.
And in a sense, it’s comforting to know now, rather than any later. I’m grateful that he had the courage to tell me. And I feel horrible that I’m likely not going to end up being the person to be his other half. I want him to be happy, most of all.
First, it is extremely wonderful reading someone your age who has great intelligence, proper writing, and is open-minded. At your age, I find it very hard to say “I’m going to be committed to someone forever”, trans* or not. You have a lot of life in front of you, and so does your girlfriend. My advice, for what it is worth, it to keep doing exactly as you need to. Be honest with your partner, as she is being honest with you. Tell her your fears and she will respond accordingly. She may want to stay with you for now and try to make it work, or she may find out that having no real guarantee of a partner will mean she will want to move on also. You seem very even-keeled and open to the changes to come, even if you do have fears for not loving the partner in the same way. Don’t feel horrible about not being able to be there for her as a lover, but thank you for helping her along and being a good person and friend to her.
Hi. I am going through my husband announcing he is transgender and wants to have SRS ASAP. He wants me to stay married and be in a lesbian relationship with him like it after his surgery…… My recommendation to anyone in this situation is to ask yourself what YOU WANT in a relationship. I love my husband as a man and I am not a lesbian so there is no point pretending to be something I am not. The same as there’s no point him pretending anything. So I am not staying married but will support him. Simplify it. Even at 56 I feel like I have a lot of life ahead of me and he has a new part of life too. Hopefully happier. Remember – what do YOU want and need? Everything seems to be all about the transgender person. Well if you can’t be happy yourself and have your needs fulfilled you won’t be the person your partner needs and you will also be a wreck! Two people are trashed instead of two people getting a better life. Love and hugs to you all. Xxx
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