Have patience with yourself and your body. “It can take some time to get a feel for it,” says Antonia Hall, psychologist and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life.
You’ll also want to reduce as many other stressful thoughts as possible. “Remember that, for most women, sex starts in the brain,” says Sparks. “Start the mental seduction earlier in the day.” That means everything from dirty talk to cleaning the bedroom so there’s nothing there that stresses you out.
“Focus first on stimulating your clitoris, as it’ll help bring blood into the area and get your G-spot area ready for play,” says Hall.
O’Reilly suggests using a rabbit vibe like the We-Vibe Nova, which “provides dual vibrating stimulation for the G-zone internally and the clitoral head and hood externally.” She adds that it’s “adjustable, powerful, rumbly, and you can use it to rock in a pulsing motion.”
The Womanizer Duo can also be a handy toy, “as the outer arm stimulates the head of the clitoris with pleasure-air technology that uses tiny bursts of air to create a suction-like sensation over the clitoral head,” O’Reilly says.
5. Then, place a lot of pressure on the G-spot.
When you’re turned on, insert your middle and ring finger 
a couple of inches inside the vagina and rub your G-spot, which feels like a small ridged area along the front of your vaginal wall, Hall says.
FYI: You’ll need to do it for an extended period of time (it’s a marathon, not a sprint!). “What [you’re] pushing on is actually erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra,” Dr. Castellanos explains. “As you’re stroking that. you’re changing the angle of the urethra to the bladder, and it’s much easier for that fluid to be expelled.” To improve your odds of squirting, relax the pelvic floor muscles as you stimulate the G-spot.
6. Get some help from a toy.
G-spot stimulation is key here. “The G-spot is about two inches in and one inch up, inside of the vagina,” Sparks says. “So, you are seeking a toy with some length and a slight upwards curve.” She likes the Le Wand Bow: “This stainless steel wand is perfectly curved with ridges and a round bulb on one end and smooth and a more pointed bulb on the other end.” You can even add in temperature play by letting it sit in warm or cold water for a few minutes prior to use.
7. Don’t stress about peeing.
A lot of women feel like they’re going to pee when they’re close to reaching an O. But that gotta-go feeling is often sparked by that fluid coming from the Skene’s glands behind the G-spot (a.k.a. squirting), explains Hall.
And even if pee does come out, don’t stress, says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School. “Sex is messy and there’s a lot of fluids involved already, so even if it was urine, who cares?” (But if it’ll make you feel better, you can use the restroom before you get started.)
8. Control your pelvic floor muscles
Sparks says it helps to have control of your pelvic muscles. “As the sensation [or] pressure starts to build, it will feel like you have to pee-that’s the time to use your pelvic floor muscles,” she says. “Don’t tighten them, but push out. as if you are pushing out the pee. It takes practice, but it’s doable.”
9. Try to relax in the moment.
Doing your best to be easy-breezy lemon-squeezy when you feel an orgasm building will go a long way toward helping you reach your goal. “Some people report that when they tense up, it hinders both orgasmic sensation and squirting,” O’Reilly says.
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